Fight between Husband & Wife

 

 

    

 

Sending below to make you laugh... but the fact is bullets are flying everywhere in the city... hoping I will laugh too... soon!! HAVE A GALA FUN!! a novel way to fight   This is the best and most civil way to have a fight between husband and wife instead of resorting to physical force... Poems written by WIFE and HUSBAND. WIFE: I wrote your name on sand it got washed. I wrote your name in air, it was blown away. Then I wrote your name on my heart & I got Heart Attack. HUSBAND: God saw me hungry, he created pizza. He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi. He saw me in the dark, he created light. He saw me without problems, he created YOU. WIFE: Twinkle twinkle little star You should know what you are And once you know what you are Mental hospital is not so far HUSBAND: The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass and flowers too. If rain makes all things beautiful Why doesn't it rain on you? WIFE: Roses are red; Violets are blue Monkeys like u should be kept in zoo. Don't feel so angry you will find me there too Not in cage but outside, laughing at you   AND THE SAGA CONTINUES........     Position of a Husband Is just like a Split AC  No matter however Loud he is in the Outdoor He is designed to remain Silent indoor...  ..................................................................... "Husband is one who is the head of the family, but his wife is the neck, and whichever way she turns, he goes." ........................................................................ A man in Hell asked Devil: Can I make a call to my Wife? After making call he asked how much to pay. Devil : Nothing, Hell to hell is Free.  ................................................................   Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means, Without Information, Fighting Every time! Wife: No darling, it means - With Idiot For Ever   ...........................................................................   Wife: I wish I was a newspaper, So I'd be in your hands all day. Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper, So I could have a new one every day.  .................................................................   Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping Pills. Wife: When must I give them to him? Doctor: They are for you  ...................................................................   Wife: I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are.. Husband: You should have known it the minute I asked you to marry me.  ....................................................................   Wife: What will you give me if I climb the great Mount Everest ? Husband: A lovely Push...! and the life goes on........

Shiraz commencing 5th June, becomes the third city in Iran that Qatar Airways flies to.

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Bst Rgds,
Mohammed Shakir.

http://jobslinksaroundtheworld.blogspot.com/

( Congratulations!!! Reach out to the Whole New Internet Generation. Now Promote your Business on my Blog - Please email me for availing New Advertisement Services !!!)

"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny."

Quran [2:216]  But you may dislike something which is good for you, and you may like something which is bad for you. GOD knows while you do not know.
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Funny

 

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"Dream is not that what you see in your sleep, Dream is the thing which do not allow you to sleep"

Regards,

Take Some Time for Beautiful Words..

 

BEAUTIFUL WORDS ...

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Bst Rgds,
Mohammed Shakir.

http://jobslinksaroundtheworld.blogspot.com/
( Congratulations!!! Reach out to the Whole New Internet Generation. Now Promote your Business on my Blog - Please email me for availing New Advertisement Services !!!)
"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny."

Quran [2:216]  But you may dislike something which is good for you, and you may like something which is bad for you. GOD knows while you do not know.
P Save a tree. Use Less Papers. Don't print this e-mail unless it's really necessary!!

For All those who skips Breakfast -- The Importance of Having Breakfast!

Importance of Having Breakfast
 
Breakfast can help prevent strokes, heart attack and sudden death. Advice on not to skip breakfast!
Healthy living. For those who always skip breakfast, you should stop that habit now! You've heard many times that "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day." Now, recent research confirms that one of the worst practices you can develop may be avoiding breakfast. Why?
 

 
Because the frequency of heart attack, sudden death, and stroke peaks between 6: 00a.m. and noon, with the highest incidence being between 8: 00a.m. and 10:00a.m.What mechanism within the body could account for this significant jump in sudden death in the early morning hours? We may have an Answer. Platelet, tiny elements in the blood that keep us from bleeding to Death if we get a cut, can clump together inside our arteries due to Cholesterol or plaque buildup in the artery lining. It is in the morning hours that platelets become the most activated and tend to form these internal blood clots at the greatest frequency.
 
However, eating even a very light breakfast prevents the morning platelet activation that is associated with heart attacks and strokes. Studies performed at Memorial University in St.Johns,   Newfoundland found that eating a light, very low-fat breakfast was critical in modifying the morning platelet activation. Subjects in the study consumed either low-fat or fat-free yogurt, orange juice, fruit, and a source of protein coming from yogurt or fat-free milk. So if you skip breakfast, it's important that you change this practice immediately in light of this research. Develop a simple plan to eat cereal, such as oatmeal or Bran Flakes, along with six ounces of grape juice or orange juice, and perhaps a piece of fruit. This simple plan will keep your platelets from sticking together, keep blood clots from forming, and perhaps head off a potential Heart Attack or stroke. So never ever skip breakfast.

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"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny."

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How to Handle Criticism

Rather than trying to avoid criticism, expert performers welcome it. They seek out coaches and advisors who can give them constructive, sometimes even painful feedback. They then use this feedback as a guide for steady improvement.

Here are some steps you can take to handle criticism effectively:

1. Acknowledge Your Error -

Acknowledging a mistake is not the same as acknowledging that you are an inferior person/a failure. If you believe the criticism is accurate, take full responsibility. Dont blame something or someone else and dont make excuses. If appropriate, offer a diplomatic apology: I m sorry that my actions led to that result. It certainly was not my intention. Again, if appropriate, ask for suggestions on how you can improve your performance the next time.

2. Take Corrective Action

- After you ve heard the other person out completely, and listened to any suggestions for improvement, state/communicate your eagerness to improve in the future. If appropriate, describe any actions you will take at his time to counterbalance your previous error.

3. Acknowledge the other persons motive

Thank the other person for the feedback and make sure to state how valuable you consider it. This demonstrates your ability to use criticism as a way to improve an essential quality of a leader. In addition, let the other person know that you are open to receiving his or her feedback in the future.

Even when you dont care for the style in which criticism is presented, be thankful that the other person is willing to give you feedback, and along with it, an opportunity to improve.

 

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Software engineer and his wife ..

 

Software engineer and his wife .. (FUNNY)

Husband - hey dear, I am logged in.

Wife - would you like to have some snacks?
Husband - hard disk full.

Wife - have you brought the saree.
Husband - Bad command or file name.

Wife - but I told you about it in morning
Husband - erroneous syntax, abort, retry, cancel.

Wife - hae rabba !forget it where's your salary.
Husband - file in use, read only, try after some time.

Wife - at least give me your credit card, I can do some shopping.
Husband - sharing violation, access denied.

Wife - I made a mistake in marrying you.
Husband - data type mismatch.

Wife - you are useless.
Husband - by default.

Wife - who was there with you in the car this morning?
Husband - system unstable press ctrl, alt, del to Reboot.

Wife - what is the relation between you & your Receptionist?
Husband - the only user with write permission.

Wife - what is my value in your life?
Husband - unknown virus detected.

Wife - do you love me or your computer?
Husband - Too many parameters..

Wife - I will go to my dad's house.
Husband - program performed illegal operation, it will Close.

Wife - I will leave you forever.
Husband - close all programs and log out for another User.

Wife - it is worthless talking to you.
Husband - shut down the computer.

Wife - I am going
Husband - Its now safe to turn off your computer

 

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Important Information on Contact Lenses!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

Important Information A 21 year old guy had worn a pair of contact lenses during a barbecue party. While barbecuing he stared at the fire charcoals continuously for 2-3 minutes. After a few minutes, he started to scream for help and moved rapidly, jumping up and down. No one in the party knew why he was doing this ? Then he admitted into the Hospital, the doctor said he'll be blind permanently because of the contact lenses that he had worn. Contact lenses are made by plastics, and the heat from the charcoal melted his contact lenses. DO NOT WEAR CONTACT LENSES WHERE OVERHEATING AND FLAMES ARE CONCERNED.... OR WHILE COOKING...! Friends if u feel the information is important, Please pass this message to all your near & dear ones.

 

"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny."

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Brilliant Advice

 

Brilliant Advice from Dad to Son   Beautiful letter written by a father to his son! This applies to daughters too. Use this in your teachings to your children.   Following is a letter to his son from a renown Hong Kong TV broadcaster cum Child Psychologist. The words are actually applicable to all of us, young or old, children or parents.!   I am writing this to you because of 3 reasons 1.Life, fortune and mishaps are unpredictable, nobody knows how long he lives. Some words are better said early. 2.I am your father, and if I don't tell you these, no one else will.  3.What is written is my own personal bitter experiences that perhaps could save you a lot of unnecessary heartaches.  Remember the following as you go through life 1. Do not bear grudge (harbor ill feelings) towards those who are not good to you. No one has the responsibility of treating you well, except your mother and I. To those who are good to you, you have to treasure it and be thankful, and ALSO you have to be cautious, because, everyone has a motive for every move. When a person is good to you, it does not mean he really likes you. You have to be careful, don't hastily regard him as a real friend.   2.  No one is indispensable, nothing in the world that you must possess.  Once you understand this idea, it would be easier for you to go through life when people around you don't want you anymore, or when you lose what/who you love most.   3. Life is short. When you waste your life today, tomorrow you would find that life is leaving you. The earlier you treasure your life, the better you enjoy life.   4. Love is but a transient feeling, and this feeling would fade with time and with one's mood. If your so called loved one leaves you, be patient, time will wash away your aches and sadness. Don't over exaggerate the beauty and sweetness of love, and don't over exaggerate the sadness of falling out of love.   5. A lot of successful people did not receive a good education, that does not mean that you can be successful by not studying hard! Whatever knowledge you gain is your weapon in life. One can go from rags to riches, but one has to start from some rags!   6. I do not expect you to financially support me when I am old, either would I financially support your whole life. My responsibility as a supporter ends when you are grown up. After that, you decide whether you want to travel in a public transport or in your limousine, whether rich or poor.   7. You honour your words, but don't expect others to be so. You can be good to people, but don't expect people to be good to you. If you don't understand this, you would end up with unnecessary troubles.   8. I have bought lotteries for umpteen years, but I never strike any prize. That shows if you want to be rich, you have to work hard! There is no free lunch!   9. No matter how much time I have with you, let's treasure the time we have together. We do not know if we would meet again in our next life. Your Ever loving Dad.

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Thanks & Best Regards,

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How to Catch a Lion Funny

How to Catch a LION

 

 

 

 

 

Newton 's Method:

 

Let, the lion catch you.

 

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

 

Implies you caught lion.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Einstein Method:

 

Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion.

 

Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon.

 

Now you can trap it easily.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Police Method:

Catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it to accept that its a lion.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rajnikanth Method :

 

Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime.

 

The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself.

 

 

 

 

   

 

 

 

 

Jayalalitha Method:

 

Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM and kill it, while it's sleeping !

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Manirathnam Method (director):

 

Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the lion in a dark

 

room with a single candle lighted.

 

Keep murmuring something in its ears.

 

The lion will be highly irritated and commit suicide.

 

 

 

 

   

 

 

Karan Johar Method (director):

 

Send a lioness into the forest.

 

Our lion and lioness fall in love with each other.

 

Send another lioness in to the forest, followed by another lion.

 

First lion loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the 2nd lioness.

 

But 2nd lioness loves both lions.

 

Now send another lioness (third) into the forest.

 

You don't understand right... ok....read it after 15 yrs, then also u wont!

   
                                                    

 

Yash Chopra method (director):

Take the lion to Australia or US.. and kill it in a good scenic location.

 

 

Govinda method:

Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days. 

 

 

Menaka Gandhi method:

Save the lion from a danger and feed him with some vegetables continuously.

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rahul Dravid s method:

 

Ask the lion to bowl at u.

Software Engineer Method:

Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that its a Lion.
If anyone comes back with issues tell that you will upgrade it to Lion.

Eraser & Pencil

PENCIL : I'm Sorry ERASER : For What? You Didn't Do Anything Wrong. PENCIL : I'm Sorry Because You Get Hurt Because Of Me.  Whenever I Made A Mistake, You're Always There To Erase it. But As You Make My Mistakes Vanish, You Lose A Part Of Yourself. You Get Smaller And Smaller Each Time. ERASER : That's True. But I Don't Really Mind. You See, I Was Made To Do This. I Was Made To Help You Whenever You Do Something Wrong. Even Though One Day, I Know I'll Be Gone And You'll Replace Me With A New One, I'm Actually Happy With My Job. So Please, Stop Worrying. I Hate Seeing You Sad.   LESSON: Parents Are Like The Eraser Whereas Their Children Are The Pencil. They're Always There For Their Children, Cleaning Up Their Mistakes. Sometimes Along The Way, They Get Hurt, And Become Smaller / Older, And Eventually Pass On. Though Their Children Will Eventually Find Someone New (spouse), But Parents Are Still Happy With What They Do For Their Children,And Will Always Hate Seeing Their Precious Ones Worrying,Or Sad…. However Our Parents Are Getting Smaller And Smaller Each Day… One Day, All That We Would Be Left With Will Be Eraser Shavings And Memories Of What We Used To Have. Allah, Most Wise Admonishes us: "Thy Lord Hath Decreed That Ye Worship None But Him, And That Ye Be Kind To Parents. Whether One Or Both Of Them Attain Old Age in Thy Life, Say Not To Them A Word Of Contempt, Nor Repel Them, But Address Them in Terms Of Honour. And, Out Of Kindness, Lower To Them The Wing Of Humility, And Say:  My Lord ! Bestow On Them Thy Mercy Even As They Cherished Me in Childhood." (Quran-17:23)  P Save a tree. Use Less Papers. Don't print this e-mail unless it's really necessary!!